The Biology of Dating: Why Him, Why Her?

Ah, the eternal question: why is HE with HER? Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher thinks she has found the answer after studying the academic literature on personality and after poring over 40,000 responses to a questionnaire on an online dating site. A Rutgers professor and paid advisor for Chemistry.com, Fisher not only believes in romantic chemistry, but is zeroing in on specific chemicals. She spoke with TIME about her latest book, Why Him, Why Her: Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type.

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The Soul Mate Myth

I'll readily admit that when a friend of mine began dating Ken, I was a bit jealous. Her declaration that she had without a doubt found her soul mate had me thinking twice about my own boyfriend at the time. Was he my soul mate? Ultimately, I determined he wasn't; something was missing between us. After almost three years of dating, we broke up. Eventually, my friend and Ken ended things, too, and not amicably. Turns out they weren't soul mates after all; in fact, they couldn't stand each other.

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