Thursday, March 17, 2011

As you build and strengthen your relationship

How to strengthen your relationship

In order to get a couple stronger and safer we need to look and ask what objectives will be our strategies to take advantage when given times.

We are always going to require a certain behavior in difficult situations and that's where we have to keep up. When all goes well and is very easy to want to stay together.

When things go wrong, either because of financial difficulties, illness or other things, our attitude will encourage good course of our relationship or tear it apart. We have always said that the best way to maintain a relationship is with good communication .

Love can be terminated

Then there's the love, which can also be completed. When will happen is difficult to know and can not be on the lookout because we will be bitter and not be able to enjoy our family. Our job while we are together is trying to make things better and for this we must know how to communicate.

When expressing your wishes and your feelings, you can use an aggressive style or be a person who does not communicate anything. Both forms will fail to achieve our goal of lasting couples. You'd better start by learning how to do it and this will be an assertive style.

Calm and unhurried discussions

People who know how to use this type of communication are ideal to engage in a discussion as always defend their rights, views and wishes, but never do harm to others, taking into account their views and will be considered with their thinking.

When we use this type of communication, we will face an argument with a figure of speech slow and quiet, always listen to what you have to say the other, we will give the reason or understand it even though we disagree with what says and, above all, defend our position, we never at any time use or threat of aggression.

Our family will not be on the defensive and together we can reach agreements beneficial to both. You get what you want in a calm and your partner will not feel cheated or disappointed, a lot of problem solving and agreements as a form of communication is active and resolute.

Typical phrases used assertive in a discussion will be:

"I understand ... but I think ..."

"You may be right but I still think that ..."

"What do not you like exactly?"

"Maybe you're right ... but I think ...

This form of communication will be the ideal in most cases, either when facing a conflict, or give our opinion or to criticize. And the basis for the positive resolution of any conflict that has to do with human relationships . At the beginning of the sentences shows interest in what the other says, sometimes even given half right, but throughout the conversation always makes clear the point of view we are interested in doing it this way that our opponent does not get defensive because what we do first is flatter or agree with him. In a relationship will be the best alternative to solve the problems.

Finding solutions

We also have to learn to cope with the problems that arise in the best way possible and for that we have clear concepts.

For example, when one member involved in decisions or other issues not directly incumbent when the decision does not affect you, you will see a pressure on the couple unnecessary and damaging to the relationship . We must differentiate themselves and personal problems of those groups .

It will be important to differentiate a discussion of solutions. They are different things. The discussions will be launched recriminations, the tone of voice will become higher and will not fix the problem, since the alternatives will benefit each partner separately and in many cases, even those alternatives will come to speech. However, in solving problems will be given options that benefit both partners, or at least be able to reach a mutual agreement.