Saturday, September 8, 2007

Top 10 questions to ask on a date

Too often, men allow themselves to be pressured and intimidated by women's confrontational questions. They get flustered and often find themselves putting their foot in their mouth before they know what has happened. But rather than take the beating, you should take charge.

Your date may be coming on like a determined district attorney who will settle only for the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but that doesn't mean that you have to succumb like a guilty schoolboy. There are a couple different ways to take control. One is to deflect and redirect the focus of the conversation by using humor. Another way to deal with the inquisitional pressure is to take the direct approach and fire the probing and provocative inquiries right back at her.

Here is a list of the Top 10 questions you can ask your date and keep her on her toes. Of course, these questions will also garner you some very useful information. Just remember; do not always accept the first answer you get to each of these questions. Often, the truth will only be revealed after you ask more intensive follow-up questions to the original. So, don't be in a hurry to get to the next question on the list. As they say down on the farm, "You've got to milk it!"

Also, keep in mind that all women are inquisitive by nature. A woman who is in touch with her femininity and who has a high level of interest in a man will ask him personal questions about himself. She'll want to draw him out. That's a good thing. You want her to be curious about you. But you don't want her to pressure you. So it's important to learn the distinction between when a woman is being curious versus confrontational. (Often it's the tone she uses when she asks a particular question that lets you know which is which.)

Save the heaviest and most serious questions on this list (6 to 10) for those times when your date is being confrontational. Questions 1 to 5 can be used when she starts asking you provocative questions about relationships but still isn't trying to put you in the hot seat.And here's another important point about communication between the sexes. Women are generally much better listeners than men are. A lot of you guys need to improve your listening skills.

As an overall rule, you should be asking your date interesting and meaningful questions about herself -- questions that you genuinely want to know the answers to. One of the biggest complaints women have about men is that they go on and on about themselves and hardly ask a date anything about herself. And one last caveat; handle with care! Don't ask any of these questions unless you're also prepared to answer the same or similar ones yourself.

Here we goes:

1. What do you think is the biggest mistake that men tend to make in relationships? (This will tell you a lot about what turns her off and also about her attitude toward men in general.)

2. Do you think that men tend to be too macho or too sensitive?

3. What are the qualities of your ideal relationship?

4. Have you ever gone out with a guy who was a Challenge? (Have her describe how he was a Challenge and how she responded to it.)

5. What's the most important thing that men don't understand about women that they should?

6. Have you ever had your heart broken? (The more beautiful she is, the more likely the answer will be no. It's actually better if the answer is yes. A girl whose heart has been broken has some humility.)

7. What scares you the most about opening your heart to a man?

8. Were you usually the dumper or the dumpee in your past relationships?

9. Do you feel that you've ever had a truly successful relationship?

10. Why did your last relationship fail? (Note: Does she take any responsibility or was it all her ex-boyfriend's fault?)

Remember guys; when she puts the pressure on, you've got to fire back.

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