Thursday, March 31, 2011

How to avoid ruining your first appointment

I have a lot of guys who write me to ask my advice about having the best performance on their first date.

This post is for that, to deal with this concept is vital to understand if you're wondering how to behave around a woman who has just met.


I noticed a fundamental difference between how men and women act when they meet a "potential mate."

Women usually act in a way that can be characterized as follows:

"You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to know you better, and we'll see where does all this."

Men usually act in a way that can be characterized as follows:

"I am very interested in you that I am very nervous. In fact, I'm thinking of you as a potential girlfriend or wife ... or at least one night."

In other words, women tend to be casual and relaxed when they leave for the first time with a man.

But men tend to act as if every girl was a potential wife.

As you can imagine, this creates a lot of tension and pressure.

And I'm not talking about the tension and positive pressure.

I'm talking about the kind of nervousness and stress that makes men tremble and women feel uncomfortable because the man is acting uncomfortable.

I know that you can relate to this case in any way.


The simplest advice for the first quote is:

NO SHOW your nerve.

If you start to act strangely and nervous when talking to a woman, you're probably going to ruin everything before you even had the chance to start.

Treat a woman you just met as if she were the love of your life is something you should never do.

Instead, it adopts a very different approach.

My favorite is to assume that every woman has something that will bother me, bother me, or will ruin all chance with me.

The main reason I do this is:



The fact is that most women are not compatible "long term" with most men. In other words, if you look at a long term relationship with a woman in particular, it is likely that she will have things on it that you will not like it.

One of my most favorite subjects to follow is: "You're ruining your chances with me."

Say I'm walking down the street with a girl to go grab a cup of tea. Let us assume that she and I just met the night before, I have your phone number, and now we're walking to tea.

At the entrance to the cafeteria, she bumps into the door.

Could look at her, shaking his head in a desaprobante "so a little upset," and say "This relationship will not even work."

Then, say, fifteen minutes later, she spilled her tea on the table and herself.

I will move the head back and say "What I said about this type of behavior."

In other words, I am conveying the opposite of "You're a potential wife." I'm saying "I'm very comfortable around you that I can even make fun of you no matter what you think of me."

Sound a little crazy?

Well, it should.

Trust me.

If you spend a couple of hours having a normal conversation being funny and relaxed, enjoying yourself and not trying to impress her, and in general, showing that you care little about how things can go, You'll be much more likely to take you the relaxing things instead of acting as if she were to be the love of your life and end up acting so nervous, and be as concerned about it, you end up ruining everything and leaving it running.

So here is the little board on the first date. One thing that most guys who are unsuccessful with women do to mess up. One thing to avoid:

DO NOT treat a woman you just met as if she were the future potential for wife or girlfriend.

Instead, relax. It's funny. Make jokes about how she can ruin you chances. Tell her she is a good friend. Assume they have certain details that will bother you, and bring them out to light (so cocky and funny way, of course).

Do not lose your composure. May be fatal if you do.

Another tip:

Most men do not "get" women.

And unfortunately, most guys look tricks and choose roles when it comes time to learn how to seduce a woman.

They do not realize that all the tricks of the world will not help if they do not understand what is "happening.