Saturday, June 25, 2011

Right in the middle of the paradox: Am I risk to be alone?

One of my readers wrote me that his biggest fear was being alone on one side and the other wrong again. In this article I present two views to help you see things differently

Identify your mistakes of their previous relationship:

Most people we focused heavily on where we caused the damage, and that's natural because that was what caused the final separation with the person in question. However it is not logical to continue thinking the same thing, especially months or years after the relationship ended, because that person is you.

If you have a wound in any part of your body, and if the tightening continues the healing process will take place at night or when you finally fall asleep. Because as we all know that a wound heals, you let the body to make this process alone.

But when it comes to a wound in our "heart" We go round and round in our heads, thinking that it caused us pain and so the relationship ended, not allowing us to grow, to see things from another mode, or see the same but from a plane of learning.

It is best to focus on how to move forward on our journey through life, a good strategy, what were your reactions?, Our warnings that do not follow when he or conflicts are presented?. That is more productive, because if we identify our mistakes will be learning about ourselves. Maybe you have to learn to set boundaries, to dialogue, to observe reactions, or say what they think?

The more you focus on learning rather grow as a person and that will help you decide what you really want. Because when you minimize risks, increases the chance of success!

Fear of being alone

My opinion about solitude is hardly a person is alone, if that is not their desire, not necessarily have to physically live with someone, you always have the opportunity to share with other people eg family, friends, co-workers , interest groups, recreational activities, volunteer work, among others.

There is always someone to share, you may even be a couple, but do not live together, for example the other day I met her at a dinner, a Dane 70, his wife died about 14 years ago and introduced me to his girlfriend, a very nice lady, both are dating each lives in his house, but accompany each other.

The important thing for me is, dare to think differently, everything in life is relative, and acquire meaning from their own point of view, after all is your life, but you decide, or not?

Whatever he tells her "heart", you decide what makes you happy, most of the time and not die with their music inside.